it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize