Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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