I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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