Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
