I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
