I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
