Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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