So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize