God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Boobs are out for the taking
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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