holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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