O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
