Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
