Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This is the high leading the old right now
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's shark week go big or go home
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
