meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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