I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize