shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
