Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
