I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
