im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
