I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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