I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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