Yo dont text me then not text me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
