im six kinds of drunk right now
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
