1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
