Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Randomize
