Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
