apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
