in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize