Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
