Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
that is very illegal...i love you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
