do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
