office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize