you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
