I murdered the dance floor call the cops
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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