This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
