the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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