You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
