youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
