The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
