so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
