I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
