Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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