white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Randomize
