am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
