when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
