Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
