I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
