I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
420 ftw
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
