I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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