P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
