So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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