I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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