Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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