It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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