ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
