Just cropdusted the office
He kissed a someone with a penis
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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