just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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