He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
