I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize