All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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