I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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