this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
