Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
