Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
