What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Your penis caused this!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
