We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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