Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my being single is dangerous.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
