if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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