never play flip cup with pint glasses
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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